"There's layers to this shit player. Tiramisu. Tiramisu." - Macklemore (Ben Williams Haggerty)
I used to think of my family unit as just that, a unit. One unchanging thing.
The truth is that there are endless overlapping aspects and stratifications. For example, my formative relationship with next-in-birth-order sister A differs from that of the much shorter relationship with sister T. No less important, but so very different. And then, of course, the history of my relationship with the two of them is different than the history when sister E is introduced.
The same laminous effect goes for my parents. I used to see them as merely two roles: Mother and Father. But over time I've realized, the seemingly obvious fact, that at one point they weren't parents at all! For over 10 years the family consisted of just the two of them. That adds a much longer stretch of time to our family. I'm sure the dynamics of their relationship has morphed and changed during that time, and morphed again when I was introduced. And then again and again with each of their four daughters.
No wonder family life can be difficult! At any given time there are so many histories, influences, experiences, etc going into what makes my family what it is.
I feel ya' with the "used to think of my family as . . . one unchanging thing." And the realization that it changes is at once good and difficult -- as the change itself is good and difficult. But it definitely makes things more interesting, doesn't it?
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